There’s many, many reasons why baseball is the best game on Earth, but one of my favorites is it’s relentless ability to produce wildly unexpected results on a consistent basis. Take tonight as a prime example: This was as close to a guaranteed Red Sox loss on paper as you could get. You had (among other things):

  • Brayan Bello and his 9.12 ERA set to go on the mound as the bulk guy.

  • Brayan Bello pitching so poorly in recent starts that the Red Sox used Jovani Moran as an opener in front of Bello (where he immediately gave up two runs in the first inning).

  • Roman Anthony away from the team seeing a hand specialist in Boston hoping to avoid a trip to the IL.

  • Jarren Duran going 0-5 with three strike outs from the top of the lineup when he’d been the team’s hottest hitter over the last handful of games.

  • Garrett Whitlock and Aroldis Chapman both likely running on empty as they had each pitched in both of the last two games. (So even if the Sox got a small lead, they might have had trouble holding it.)

  • Lastly, they were on the road facing Framber Valdez, who had held opponents to two earned runs or less in six of his seven starts this season.

So what did that combination of ingredients produce? The most dominant Red Sox victory of the season of course! (Yes, more dominant than the 17-1 win in Baltimore. That score was largely inflated by a position player pitching the ninth inning.) Once again, baseball’s gonna baseball!

And apparently, Framber Valdez is gonna Framber Valdez, because after spending the first three innings of this game getting his face ripped off, he decided he wanted out by any means necessary. The only problem was his manager, A.J. Hinch, had other ideas.

After losing Tarik Skubal to elbow surgery and having to run a bullpen game yesterday, Hinch and the Tigers needed innings out of Valdez tonight. So even though Valdez was getting his teeth kicked in during the first three innings to the tune of eight runs allowed – Which let’s face it, is about 15 runs against a normal lineup the way the Red Sox bats have looked in 2026 — he was sent back out there for the fourth with his pitch count sitting at just 56 bullets fired.

The first thing he did in an act of defiance was serve up this meatball to Willson Contreras, which couldn’t possibly be any more in the Goldilocks zone, even if it was in the Three Bears fairytale.

Here’s what Willson Contreras did with that early birthday gift (it’s coming up next week on the same day as Roman Anthony’s):

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But that moonshot still didn’t get Framber Valdez out of the game — Because again, A.J. Hinch needed innings from his pitcher. So after giving up another home run to Wilyer Abreu, Valdez took matters into his own hands by getting himself ejected. And he did that on his very next pitch here that drilled Trevor Story right between the numbers:

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You want to know why this guy didn’t get signed off the free agent market until February despite oodles of talent and plenty of plus pitches? This clown show right here!

The Tigers needed a big start from Valdez tonight after yesterday’s Tarik Skubal news, and not only did he not deliver, but he got into a pissing match with his manager about leaving the game that escalated to the point where he found a way for the umpires to throw him out instead. What a weasel move!

But of course, he wasn’t going to admit that:

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