KIERON DYER was the subject of a pungent revenge prank by a former Newcastle team-mate.
Back in 2004, the 33-cap England international pulled a prank on Michael Bridges, who had been signed to the Magpies on loan from Leeds in the latter half of the 2003/04 season.
Speaking on the Under the Cosh podcast in 2020, Bridges recalled how a birthday prank by Dyer ended up with a fishy surprise.
Bridges revealed how he had been to London and brought around £5,000 worth of clothes, but was well aware his old clothes would be messed up as part of a traditional prank.
But as it turned out, his new clothes had also ended up being trashed.
He said: “I knew the gear I was wearing would get cut up because you’ve got your new clothes. That was normally the banter on your birthday.
“I came in after training that day and, sure enough, all my sleeves were cut off. I had an Umbro sign cut out in the middle of my top and the jeans had been ripped up.
“So I go into my bag to get my clothes out, and I remember getting out my leather jacket and the sleeves just fell off it.
“And my jeans, whoever had done it had gone through five grand worth of clothes and destroyed the lot, so my head was gone.”
Bridges recalled how there were only four left players in the dressing room, but managed to identify the culprit by asking Andy O’Brien, whom he described as someone you would never want to go to court with.
He continued: “I’ve turned to O’Brien and gone ‘Who’s done this?’ and he went ‘I can’t tell you, but Kieron Dyer’.
“So I remember ringing Kieron and saying ‘You’re in trouble you mate’ and he denied it, but I knew it was him.”
Bridges then hatched a plan for his revenge inspired by a Paul Gascoigne joke he had read in his book not long beforehand.
Using the fish markets he lived by, Bridges went and brought a lot of fish guts to put into Dyer’s car and was incredibly even goaded on by the fishmonger.
He said: “Mate, you’re probably going to read about it in two days, I’m going to put it in Kieron Dyer’s car.
“I read Paul Gascoigne’s book recently. He put a fish in the glove box, he put one under the spare tyre of somebody’s car, and he put one on the bonnet. I’m going to do the same thing to Kieron.
“And he said, Ah brilliant I’ll give you some extra heads.”
Local lad Bridges then got help from the Newcastle staff, who Dyer was apparently rude to by flicking his Porsche car keys at them and without saying his please and thank yous.
And when he told security guard, Davey, about the prank he was about to pull, the staff were more than willing to help out by handing the keys to Bridges to carry out his fish prank.
He added: “When I told Davey and the lads who I was going to get, I said when Kieron comes today bring his car keys to me I’m going to put fish guts and everything in it’.
“Davey said ‘Brilliant, I’m going to change the cameras on to his car so we can see it’.”
Dyer was then late for training, and Davey came and told Bridges in the treatment room he had the keys.
Vomit-inducing
Bridges went outside to Dyer’s car, popped open the bonnet and poured some of the fishy contents on the engine, which he recalls was like a barbeque with the smell being vomit-inducing.
He then opened up the glove box and put some of the contents in there, with the leather dashboard of the car then soaking it up like a sponge.
Despite Bridges reacting, “I’ve taken it one step too far here”, he then did the same thing to the spare tyre before a twist of fate saw the prank get even worse for Dyer.
He continued: “Davey said ‘You’re not going to believe this, the bus has left and Kieron hasn’t gone to his car. They’re not going to be back until Saturday night, it’s going to stink’.”
On Saturday afternoon Davey then sent a screenshot of the security cameras on his phone showing a white cat sitting outside smelling the car.
Dyer eventually returned to his car with the security footage capturing his reaction as the smell hit him and knocked him back before he slammed the door.
He then phoned Bridges and said: “‘I know it’s you I’m going to kill you’. So I said, ‘Did you do my clothes? I warned you that if you play with fire, you’re going to get burned. So, I’ve done you’.”
Bridges also recalled how former BBC presenter Jermaine Jenas mentioned the prank was one of the best he had seen.
The now 46-year-old went on to play for the likes of Bolton, Sunderland and Hull before retiring in 2014.
Meanwhile, Dyer stayed at Newcastle until 2007 before going on to play for West Ham, Ipswich, QPR and Middlesbrough.
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